denial

Sense our own feelings and needs

Blame ourselves

Ignore

Blame others

Sense others' feelings and needs

3. Emotional Liberation: We take responsibility for our intentions and actions.

2. The Obnoxious Stage: We feel angry; we no longer want to be responsible for others' feelings.

1. Emotional Slavery: We see ourselves responsible for others' feelings

I feel angry when you say that because i am wanting respect and i hear your words as an insult.

I am feeling disappointed because you said you would do it and you didnt.

you irritate me when you leave company documents on the conference room floor.

I am grateful that you offered me a ride becausse i was needing to get home before my children arrive.

false

true

3. whether th listener would be willing to take a particular action

2. what the listener is thinking

1. what the listener is feeling